Have you ever met a person that was always so thoughtful? They remember your special dates and anniversaries? They are always presenting you with small gifts that demonstrate they have paid attention to your likes and dislikes? They always seem to know just when to say the right things? If you have, you are fortunate! I have to say, in my lifetime I have encountered few people that I can truly say are “thoughtful”. But, I am blessed to know those few!! They have taught me so much about giving and selflessness.
So why is giving and selflessness so important? Well, it’s when we demonstrate more of that rather than selfishness that we make the world a better place to live and enjoy but also walk in peace and harmony with others. I know people that have admitted they just love getting gifts! That’s ok…nothing wrong with that. I too enjoy an occasional gift. But I have to say, I truly love giving better than receiving. And sometimes, those that give are not good at all at receiving and need to work on that. It takes humility to be a good receiver! But I do love how it makes me feel to give to my family, friends or anyone in need! I think I like the fact that I was an answer to a problem when I give.
Being thoughtful is not just about giving. It’s an attitude that puts action behind it. Being thoughtful is purposeful. It doesn’t just happen. And if you aren’t particularly a thoughtful person, you can easily become more thoughtful with just doing a few things a little differently. You can apply these tips to your family relationships, friends and coworker relationships.
When people are talking about themselves, pay close attention to what they say. Repeating some of what they say back to them, will help you remember what was said. Especially things that they like, such as favorite colors, holidays they like to celebrate, things about their family and vacation preferences as well as their jobs and careers.
Ask people pointed questions about what they have said that will have them elaborate more on things you want to know more about. This helps you to know specifically some likes and dislikes.
Keep notes in a special place about people that are special to you or a coworker you want to know better. Or perhaps someone that you have observed is withdrawn and looks like they could use a friend.
Things to include in your notes are: special dates, their family members names and relationships, foods they like, vices they enjoy (shoes, jewelry, certain kinds of writing utensils, favorite drink, etc)
When you talk to these individuals, make a point to make at least one comment on some of the notes you have taken. For example: Ask about their children, spouse, or the vacation they recently took.
Thoughtful gestures can include a gift, an encouraging note left on a desk or at their sink in the bathroom, depending on who it is, a text with a simple “thinking about you..have a great day”, a card in the mail after loss of a loved one, or mishap of any kind. It can also just be a touch on the shoulder accompanied with a smile and encouraging word.
Never expect reciprocation, although you can expect that some people will return your thoughtfulness and generosity. Thoughtful people are thoughtful because they choose to be on purpose and every thoughtful gesture is a gift with no strings attached.
Being thoughtful requires some time but not so much you have to obsess about it. If there are particular people that you think may benefit at particular times from your thoughtfulness, simply put it on your calendar to do so in order to elevate your mind from the worry of forgetting.
Thoughtful people are some of the most appreciated and needed people in our lives. I hope you have had the privilege of being the recipient of a thoughtful person’s attentions. If you have or haven’t, maybe you need to become someone’s thoughtful person in their life! I think all of us need to develop thoughtfulness at some level. It is a wonderful way to escape the need for “me-ism”…..the focus of ME! Focusing on others, thinking of them at special times and demonstrating your care for them is a great way to start living your best life now!!!!
Comments