When you are working on goals, whether small or large, focus is vital. Keeping your eyes on the goal, on the target can sometimes be difficult especially if you are paying attention to “the haters”. Some goals will require you, at some point, to press in and apply even more focus than at the beginning. So, if you’re giving “the haters” real estate in your mind and an appointment in your schedule, you can be assured that the achieving of your goal will be greatly hindered and at the very least decelerated.
Think about those things that are important to you, things that you’ve been dreaming of for years. It might be related to your career, starting a new business or a decision to make changes that will ultimately change your life. Can you imagine doing those kind of things all the while listening to people that are doing nothing but criticizing, spewing venom and attempting to divert you or take you out all together? We all have people in our lives, some we know well and others we don’t, that get their “jollies” by making others miserable. They thrive on discrediting, devaluing, demeaning and ridiculing others in an attempt to keep them in the same lowly, miserable state as they, themselves.
People that I’m calling “the haters” are those people that have difficulty dealing with other’s success. These are people that had rather pull you down than for them to rise higher in their own station in life. “Haters” are usually envious of the person/persons they are “hating”. Many times “the Haters” actually admire the very one of whom they’re so critical!!
“The Haters” fall into different categories or you might even say different levels of intensity! There are “haters” that hate everything. They are the “Negative Haters” and hate just about everything. They will argue that white is actually black, that it’s dark even when the sun is brightly shining, and they tend to see the glass half empty rather than half full. This “hater” finds it difficult to find anything they really like about people in general…there’s always a criticism ready at anytime. Then there is the “Envious Hater”. This “hater” had rather belittle you and tell you how it can’t be done, rather than appreciate and compliment what you are accomplishing. Their plan (sometimes without consciously knowing) is to discourage you from pressing into your goals and dreams. They are afraid if you actually achieve great things, they will be left behind in their dump heap of failure and you will go on to the next level of success without them. They can’t deal with that! But they are too lazy to do what you are doing in order to achieve their own success. The next kind of “hater” is the “Sneaky Hater”. These “haters” are also “users”. They like to compete with you rather than cheer you own in your unique gift. They will gossip about you, smear your good name and character. They like to pick your brain to see if you will reveal your plans and opportunities, so that they might beat you to the draw and possibly achieve something similar before you do.
So, now that we’ve discovered the kinds of “haters” and their motives, let’s talk about how to deal with them and shut them down!! In other words…HUSH THE HATERS!!! The following are suggestions about how to accomplish this:
Limit your exposure to the negativity of “the haters”. In other words, if you know you are about to encounter such a person, plan for a quick exit!! Don’t waste your time and energy on these “haters”. Don’t make time for them on your calendar, you control your time and who gets to use it besides you!
When you hear their negative comments, immediately begin the process of “detox”. Once they are removed from your presence, begin your positive “self-talk”. Remind yourself of where you are headed and visualize yourself succeeding in your plans! Refuse to give any real estate in your mind to this rubbish! I even create “static” in my head while they are talking. I might be saying “blah, blah, blah” in my head while they are chatting away or even thinking of their reaction when they see my success!
To those that are envious and secretly admire you (you will know who they are…they make it obvious), remind yourself…you are on the right track. People are NEVER envious or admire failures. Make sure you have a “Vision Board” established and prominently displayed so that you see it everyday! Make sure to have smaller versions in you car (visor), your kitchen cabinet, etc. Refuse to allow this “hater” to misdirect your focus and energy…keep it in front of your eyes daily! If you are not clear about “Vision Boards”, find my blog about it. There may even be a video about it in my resource section.
Dealing with the “Sneaky Hater” is easy!! When you realize this person is pumping you for your plan and you know they really don’t care about you, remember this advice, “Don’t Share Big Dreams With Small Minds”!!! You don’t owe anyone disclosure regarding your goals and dreams, and certainly not the master plan to achieve them! Only share your heart’s desires with your most intimate relationship/relationships. Share with people that will be your cheerleaders, accountability partners, and those that will promote you and celebrate YOU!
Lastly, if you are aware that their are “haters” trolling your social media accounts, your website, your blog, etc., take it as a compliment. You are getting closer and closer to success with every move you make. In fact, you are probably experiencing what I call my “mini winning”, which are those successes you experience on either a daily or weekly basis that when combined, brings about the total realization of your goal/dream! You absolutely CANNOT give your time, energy and emotional strength to “the haters”. Will you have “haters”? If you are getting up everyday and putting one foot in front of the other, making plans, setting goals and experiencing any form or level of success, you better believe you will have “haters”. But that’s ok! It’s to be expected. Just develop your own plan for dealing with them.
Before I close, I want to mention one positive about “the haters”. “Haters” can be huge motivators to pursue our goals and dreams. I don’t know about you, but sometimes just knowing there is someone that is hoping I will fail, gives me a greater desire to prove them wrong. It can be that little extra push that we need to not give up and not give in. Instead of allowing “the haters” to discourage you, re-purpose their negative energy for the fuel that will propel you into success! “HUSHING THE HATERS” will help you live your best life now!
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