When we put people on pedestals we make them more significant than they should be and tend to make comparisons between ourselves those on the pedestal. For others to be on a pedestal, it places us in a lowly position….as if you are not worthy or good enough compared to them. We have to remember people, all people are human and humans are flawed and subject to failure. We all have imperfections. We all make mistakes. And, because we are flawed we have the ability to disappoint others. That means other people are also capable of disappointing us also.
Disappointment comes when we fail to allow people room to be human…to make error in their judgements. We often have unrealistic expectations. These expectations are many times, impossible for others to achieve, because they come from our own ideas and perspective, not theirs. Our expectations should be placed on what we are able to do based on our abilities and level of commitment to that particular thing. The only reasonable expectations we should place on others should be based on commitments they have personally made to us. And even then, we can expect unrealistic outcomes when they are solely based on our ideas and emotional attachments to those ideas.
It is so important to not over-estimate another person’s ability to rise to the level we have promoted them to in our own minds. When others do not rise to our expectations, it is easy to become angry and even distance ourselves because of our delusions regarding what we had expected. We are are the one to blame when this happens, not the person for which we had expectations.
We all possess notable qualities and abilities. We are all gifted in many and various ways. Recognizing those qualities and gifts while at the same time acknowledging a person’s humanness, positions us to enjoy the best of that person without putting them on a pedestal, perched and ready for a fall when they don’t quite measure up to “our” standards. When we place others on pedestals we actually make it impossible to truly connect to them.
There is absolutely nothing wrong in admiring a certain quality, character trait or gift in another person. Acknowledging the uniqueness of others can actually inspire us to be the best version of ourselves. We need to see people for who they are and value that. Everyone has value and all of us are unique. Coming to the place where we value other’s humanness and are able to extend mercy and grace when they “miss the mark”, be it our mark or their’s, is a remarkable, peaceful place to live.
It can bring us to an humble position when we acknowledge we all put our pants on the exact same way. We all have bodies that function the same way; some quite disgusting when thought of! We all experience life’s disappointments, some our fault and some that are not. Pedestals are for beautiful cakes and desserts, not people. Spending time developing appreciation for other’s uniqueness and valuing everyone for their humanness….this is the place you begin to live your best life now!!!
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