“Comparison is the thief of joy.” — Theodore Roosevelt
Who have you compared yourself to in the last 24 hours? What caused you to do that?
The picture I used on this post is of me and my daughter. I will never forget this...it was her bridal shower. It was a happy day! Even though we look a lot alike and have so many "ways" that we do life alike, we are two VERY different and unique individuals. I find myself very envious of her at times. I lover her laugh, I love her spontaneity and so many other things. But if I compare myself for very long, that "proud envy" could easily turn into inferiority and insecurity!
Multiple studies have discovered that people feel worse about themselves after spending time on social media. Why in the world is this? Could it be that overwhelmingly, people tend to only post positive posts about themselves and their families and never share their “ugly”? When anonymously polled, people said they took multiple pictures, trying to find the perfect one, before posting on social media.
It is rare that individuals share posts that point out their failures and inefficiencies! Because we only see the glorious shots of people laughing while surrounded with beautiful backdrops, accompanied with over exaggerated descriptors of what is visually seen, we are easily mislead to think that what we are seeing/reading is that person’s everyday experience. Or, you may find yourself around a person that tends to brag in excess about their accomplishments or the things they enjoy…never the trenches they find themselves in from time to time.
We automatically begin to compare ourselves to those seen in pictures. We compare our backdrops in life. We compare our experiences to people that we rarely see in person. We compare our life to people we hardly know. We compare our “state” to scenes that are not truly representative and fail to give us all the facts.
When we make comparisons we are failing to acknowledge what we DO have and all the good and gifts we’ve been given.
Things COMPARISONS do:
Comparisons are rarely fair. We tend to compare the worst of ourselves to the best of others.
Comparisons rob you of your uniqueness. You gifting and talent is unique. Only you comprise the heart, mind, abilities and talents to accomplish your calling in life. No other individual is comprised of the same elements.
Comparisons rob our time. We each have 24 hours a day to make a difference in our lives and the lives of others. We can’t waste time engaging in activities that erode our confidence.
Comparisons dilute our accomplishments. There will always be someone that is doing something better than us. But it may not be an equal comparison. Use that information to improve yourself. Enjoy your accomplishments and use them to propel you into more success.
Comparisons divert our focus. You have control of your emotions, thoughts and actions. No one can “MAKE” you do anything. Lack of focus will keep you from achieving your goals. Refuse to give into emotions and thoughts brought on by comparison.
Comparisons rob our joy. Anything that diverts your attention, brings you down, affects your energy and drive…deal with it…get rid of it and don’t engage in it. Joy comes from within not from observing what others are and do.
Below is a list of things to consider when you are tempted to engage in “Comparisons”:
Always practice gratefulness. Journal EVERYDAY the little and the big things that keep you grateful. Daily say out loud, “I’m blessed and highly favored”. “Good things happen to me”!
Discover your triggers. Begin to notice what circumstances, which people, what places tend to tempt you to engage in comparisons. Acknowledge the damage caused by comparison in these instances and when around certain people. Limit your time and exposure to these situations when possible. Mentally prepare ahead of time.
Resist the “Joneses syndrome”. The Jones are having difficulties just like you. Don’t try to emulate the “Jones Family”. In secret, they may envy you! Be determined to remain focused on YOUR goals and YOUR time and abilities.
If you do engage in comparison, use it to improve areas in your life that will help you achieve your goals. Make sure you are comparing apples to apples.
When you start to compare in the realm of finances and “things that sparkle”, remember money can’t buy everything….certainly not your peace! Many of the people you see flaunting their possessions are over their head in debt and actually stressed about paying for all that junk.
Remember people don’t belong on pedestals. Look to role models that demonstrate kindness, generosity, humility and love. But….always know, they have problems and life crisis just like you. Jesus is the one we need to use as our comparison!
Celebrate others! We all need cheerleaders and those that encourage and motivate us to be our best selves. Purpose to be a cheerleader for others. Be that “Balcony” person that is in the gallows encouraging, cheering and celebrating the uniqueness and greatness of others. Be the person to others that you need them to be to you! You don’t have to feel like you’re losing because others are winning!
Set and enforce boundaries! Social media, braggadocios people, competitive events and activities can awaken insecurities. It is our responsibility to acknowledge our triggers and limit our exposure to negative and unproductive people and activities. Unfollow social media groups and accounts that tend to stir negativity and insecurity within yourself. Limit your time on social media and platforms that have indoctrinated comparison. Ask yourself when engaging in social media, “ am I seeking affirmation”, “am I bored or feeling down”? Be honest with your answers and engage in self help activities and goal building.
In order to live your best life everyday, refuse to engage in comparison. Set your goals, map out your action plan, put it in a prominent place, hold your head high and begin each day with purpose and joy! Keep your focus. Others aren’t your standard. Your goals and life purpose is the standard.
I want to remind you of what God has said about your value and your worth. Let His Word encourage you and be the gage for where you are falling short and where you need to make improvements. Living your best life begins with refusing to compare!!
For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.
For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.
But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
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