Do you often worry? Do little things in life cause you anxiety? Do you find yourself feeling uptight, uneasy, restless and inundated with stressful thoughts? Do you tend to try and “figure it out” in your head when you are facing problems, to the point your thoughts become obsessive? Well, then you may be a “Worry Wart”!
What’s a “Worry Wart” you say? It is someone that tends more often than not, to stress and worry about things that are often out of their control, makes issues bigger than they actually are, allows their worry to affect their physical comfort, allowing their worry to trigger bad habits, and lack the skills to put worry aside and rely on other means to resolve their problems.
Wow, that was a long definition, but if you are a “worrier”, you probably saw yourself somewhere in that statement. Worrying is a miserable state. Worry effects our ability to manage our stress, it is a crippling mindset and robs us of peace and joy. Most often we find the thing that concerned us and stole so much of our time, never comes to pass.
Jesus told his disciples that worry does you NO GOOD! In Luke 12:22-32 Jesus asked these men “Which of you with taking thought can add to his stature one cubit”? “If ye not be able to do that thing which is least, why take ye thought for the rest”? To translate…Jesus asked them, which of you by worrying and being anxious can had a single hour to your life? If you can’t even do that, why are you worrying about all the rest? Another way of saying that is..you can’t change your position by worrying…you actually can’t change ANYTHING by engaging in worry.
Chronic worrying can affect your daily life so much that it may interfere with your appetite, lifestyle habits, relationships, sleep, and job performance. Many people who worry excessively are so anxiety-ridden that they seek relief in harmful lifestyle habits such as overeating, cigarette smoking, or using alcohol and drugs. If excessive worrying and high anxiety go unchecked, they can lead to depression and even suicidal thoughts.
Here is what Joseph Goldberg, MD says about stress: "Although these effects are a response to stress, stress is simply the trigger. Whether or not you become ill depends on how you handle stress. Physical responses to stress involve your immune system, your heart and blood vessels, and how certain glands in your body secrete hormones. All of these systems interact and are profoundly influenced by your coping style and your psychological state. It isn’t the stress that makes you ill. Rather, it’s the effect responses such as excessive worrying and anxiety have on these various interacting systems that can bring on the physical illness".
So, the life of a worry wart can be quite unsettling to say the least. So what am I to do if I tend to worry about most things?
It’s important to do a daily check up on our thought life. Why? Because thoughts are powerful and they are always followed by our words which are even more powerful. Our mind can motivate or prompt us to speak and act in either positive or negative ways. The good thing is you are in control of your mind. You have the ability to either allow thoughts to continue or you can stop them. Paul said in Philippians 4:6-9 not be anxious about anything. Well that sounds really easy doesn’t it?
Paul doesn’t just advise us to not worry but gives some good advice on how to avoid it all together. He makes three points about controlling worrisome thoughts. 1. In EVERYTHING, everything that brings concern to you, pray about it. Stop immediately before you can begin to think of all the “what if’s” and pray. Ask for God’s wisdom concerning the matter. James 1 tells us if we lack wisdom all we have to do is ask for it and God will give us an abundance of wisdom. 2. Paul said there is a “posture” we should take when we pray…a posture of thanksgiving. Be thankful. It is impossible to worry when you are thankful. No matter what you are facing, you have an abundance of things for which to be thankful. But, we are not only to be thankful for things we have, but be thankful in our prayers. Thank God in advance that you will receive an answer and that He will help you. 3. Think on positive, good things. Paul named a few things we should think on…things that are honest, just, pure, lovely, and things that are of a good report. If what you think about has virtue, then it is a good thing to think about. All three of the things Paul talked about is how the peace of God surpasses your understanding. That peace will literally guard your heart and mind.
The dictionary defines “Worry” as giving way to anxiety or unease; allowing your mind to dwell on difficulty or troubles. The word “dwell” here is the same as the word “meditate”. It means to think deeply and carefully and focus your mind for a period of time. So think about the things you are meditating. Do they have virtue? If not, you can do something about that. You can choose just as easily to meditate on virtuous things as you do worrisome things. When you choose to meditate on God’s promises, you are meditating on the solution. When you choose to worry, you are meditating on the problem.
Conduct a mental check up and notice what you tend to think about on a daily basis. Are you engaged in worry throughout the day? If so, are the things you worry about really worth the time you are devoting to them? Do these things actually tend to come to pass? Or, are you thinking about virtuous things? Good things? Positive things? Solutions?
After your mental check up, take a speech survey. What are you saying on a daily basis? Do you tend to curse? Do you get easily aggravated and speak negatively about your aggravation? Does your “self-talk” center around negativity toward yourself? Others? Or, do you engage in healthy “self-talk” that reinforces and acknowledges your talents, skill, abilities and your uniqueness? Do you bless others, speaking to them kindly? Do you allow life’s little aggravations slide, knowing “this too shall pass”?
You know, if you stop and think about it, many times we find ourselves worrying due to situations that we’ve created by bad decisions; circumstances that were avoidable. Let me give you some examples: 1. Making poor decisions regarding diet and exercise many times leads to health issues such as knee replacement, vascular and coronary disease. 2. Over spending can lead to living beyond our means and eventually to debt we can’t afford. 3. Making hasty decisions about people we are in relationships with can lead to heartbreak and great disappointment.
Now, I realize that not all our worries come from our poor decisions. Life is riddled with situations that involve us that we didn’t ask for. Either way, if we made poor choices or finding ourselves dealing with situations we didn’t plan, worry is not the solution. Worry causes health issues, mental strain, pressurizes relationships and can actually influence us to make decisions about important issues that come from an emotional state, which is not conducive for making wise and important decisions.
Worry is based in fear. We are fearful that something will or won’t happen. Fear is torment and we were not designed to live in torment. We live our best life when we are at peace. There is an exercise below that can help you identify your fear and rid you of worry. Take worry seriously…you won’t live your best life until you do!
The following is a strategy I developed to deal with Worry…the next time you find yourself stressing over a situation, try this!
1. Write down what you are worried about. Be specific.
2. Think about what is making you fearful about this situation and write it down.
3. Write down what the worst case scenario could be if your fears materialize.
4. What solutions can you think of that will rectify the situation if it happens. Is it something you can do? Something someone else could do? Will it cost money? How much time will it require? Write your answers down and be very specific.
5. Visualize your solutions in action. See them resolving your problem.
6. Sit and breath deeply and continue to visualize your successful implementation of
your solutions.
7. Write across your sheet of paper in large letters NO FEARS, NO WORRIES,
PROBLEM SOLVED!
8. Now fold your paper and put it in a place you’ll remember. After time passes and
Your situation unfolds and is in the past, go and find your paper and see if what you
feared actually came to pass. Ninety percent of time or more, your fears never materialize.
But if they do materialize, you have developed a plan to address them. Review what happened and access how your plan worked. You will discover that you ARE equipped to deal with problems and can do so without worry. Being able to think through a situation, create a plan and see it actually solve your problem is a deterrent for future worry!
I want to say this about the exercise above…some issues are multi-faceted and going through this exercise might need to be done for each of those facets. I want to also say that in the area of relationships, this exercise will not heal a broken heart or bind the wounds that you have suffered as a result of a failed relationship. It can however, be used to develop strategies for seeking help such as professional counseling, interpersonal work and spiritual advice.
This exercise is for the purpose of helping you resolve the fear of the unknown.
When we are faced with problems that have us asking the question “what will happen if this happens”, we can logically and methodically think through best and worst case scenarios and with some reasonable accuracy and predict how we would respond. Who knows us better than ourself…only one and that is God. With honesty and a resolve to meet our fears head on, we can develop possible solutions for any situation we might face.
Once you’ve worked through this exercise, you will be able to compartmentalize this in your mind and leave it there, knowing you have options. This is so freeing! It will enable you to put that worry aside, leaving you with more mental capacity to focus and keep moving toward success. This exercise will also help you to know the possible costs involved if you decide to make certain decisions. You may decide the cost is too high, which would leave you to explore other options and again know that there is never just one answer, but often many.
Worry really doesn’t help!! God has equipped you with power and authority. You don’t have to be the victim in any circumstance…you have options, you have answers but worry isn’t one of them. Check out some of my other posts on meditation and how important that is especially when facing hard issues! I want to encourage you everyday to stop your worrying, do your mental checkups and start living your best life now!!!
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